Summing It All Up

Summing It Up

Our trip is coming to a close.  It has been eventful in both good ways and bad, so this morning while in the car, we recapped:

The things we'll miss in no particular order:

The beautiful weather

Our little cottage with the horses

Some darned amazing ice cream:  Sweet Rose Ice Cream in Brentwood.  

Family

Friends

Our big green car

The ocean right down the street

Flowers

Santa Monica

Some of the really nice people we have met:  Linda and Mike in particular.  

Linda we met at a garage sale and she had great fun finding clothes for Alina.  We bought just about everything she recommended.  We have stayed in touch via email.  She was a friendly person on a day when we needed friendly.  

Mike not only pointed out free parking after we had been towed the day before, but he amused us with trying to fix his nephew up with Alina via text and Facebook.  We still laugh when we think of the funny hour we spent with him, a perfect stranger who felt very familiar.  Like family.  

Things we will not miss:

Being disappointed by some

Museums which close on odd days or strange hours...which were inevitably the days or times we chose to go 

Traffic

Spending endless amounts of time driving

Cars that don't stay in their lanes

Angry drivers

Unfriendly angry people who later get in their cars and become unfriendly angry drivers

What was accomplished?  

Actually, some good stuff was accomplished.  Alina received a few auditions and a few good meetings with some important people.  We can't ask for any more than that.  

The biggest accomplishment came as a surprise to me this morning.  Alina said that this trip was eye-opening for her.  I thought she would say that she no longer wanted to be an actress and that the disappointing moments she experienced here had worn it out of her.  But no, instead she told me that now she knows more than ever that this is what she wants to do.  

In addition to that, she plans from now on to take on the entire venture on her own.  She will find the classes she wants to take, she will be the one talking to the agents and receiving the calls to audition.  From now on, she wants to be the one in charge of her career and her destiny.

I couldn't be happier about that.  We started this endeavor when she was 13.  Now, at 16, she is old enough and mature enough to take it from here.  Jesse and I will play the supporting roles of encouraging parents and Alina gets to run her own show.

It has been a growing experience for both of us with a great outcome overall.  Can't wait to head home. I miss my hubby.

WHALE OF TOW

This is actually a picture of our rental car getting towed.  

WHALE OF TOW

"No! Wait! Stop!" I yelled.  

The meter had refused to take my quarters, and upon closer inspection it clearly stated that meter enforcement ended at 4:00.  Without any further detective work, I figured that meant that after 4:00 you could park for free.  

"Lady, read the sign," the tow truck man said pointing half way down the block.  "No parking after 4pm. We clear the road for rush hour."  

Argh.  Welcome naive wanderers.  This land of traffic waits for no dunderheaded tourists.  

"It's $230 for me to release your car.  Cash or credit. And you also got a parking ticket.  That's $170. Just so you know."

We headed home but I couldn't shake my dismay.  My husband is working extra hard to pay for this trip and I just blew $400 bucks on nothing.  I cried my feelings of stupidity and remorse into the phone.  

"It's ok honey" he said sympathetically. "Really.  It's OK."  That was nice.  I felt a little less horrible.

In fact that whopper of a moment brought to a close the less-than-eventful first half of this trip to LA.  After forking over my credit card, signing a few papers and finally heading off on our way, we had no choice but to look at the sunny side of things.

"Thank goodness we caught it just in time" my daughter said.  "What would we have done if they had hauled the car away before we got there?"  We agreed we had something to be thankful for, so we grumbled a little gratitude.

"And we had a really nice day up until that moment" I pointed out.  We had. We'd gone to the La Brea Tar Pits.  It was a pretty darn cool place.  So yea.  That was a good thing too. (Yes, I know I just said "the the tar tar pits.")

Strange, but accentuating the positive started to turn things around.

The next day, the sun was shining and we headed to the beach. For the rest of the week, whatever we did would have to be free so, the beach it was.  We pulled up to a meter, read every single sign within the block six times, and parked.

"You can park for free across the street" a friendly man said, pointing.  "People don't pay attention, but I park there every day for hours."  

Wow!  Free!  And a nice man too.  Turns out, he's from Glencoe, the town right next to ours back home in Illinois.  We chatted and laughed with him for almost an hour.  Nothing like unexpected kindness from a stranger to make your day happy.

More positive stuff later in the day when some auditions came in, a wonderfully supportive friend arranged a meeting for Alina with a casting director, and another call came in for an opportunity for Alina to be an extra on a show, though she wasn't able to accept that one.

Yes indeedy, things might be turning around as long as we keep our sunny sides up and stay clear of parking meters at rush hour.

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Wait. Wait. Wait.

It's the different things that stand out when you are in a new place.  Here in LA for example, there is an ocean. That's pretty great. An ocean. Also, there are flowers everywhere and they are always in bloom.  They don't stop. They are spectacular!  These are two things that I would say I love about being here.

We have been noticing little things too.  Among the more humorous to us is the voice at the crosswalks.  You know, the button that you push and then you wait for the light to change and for the picture of the person walking to appear on the traffic light so that you can cross the street.  Here, when you push the button, a voice talks to you.

"Wait."

We were sitting in an outdoor cafe today that was situated on a corner where people frequently stood, pressing the button, waiting to cross the street.  For some reason, people push the button multiple times.  There is a certain impatience that probably exists everywhere, only here, a voice speaks up each time the button is pressed, so we noticed it.

"Wait. Wait. Wait."

People kept pushing the button, trying to make the light change sooner. It became a bit annoying.  Why don't people trust that one push of the button will bring about the event they are hoping for?

My guess is that we have all had the experience where one attempt did not give us the results we were anticipating, so just to be sure, we push the button again.  And again.

For Alina and I, last week was very much like pushing the button only once and then...waiting.  We were told to wait, and so we did, standing on the corner of expectations and anticipation for a whole week before we realized that there was nothing indicating to us that Alina would have any opportunities to move forward. 

She received no auditions, no calls, no meetings.  In fact, I would venture to say that by not pushing we were essentially forgotten entirely.

It is a fine line that we walk between pushing and risking being annoying, or not pushing and risking not being paid attention to at all. 

Today we pushed the button again. Actually, we pushed it a few times.  There is no point in staying here if something doesn't change.  We made a bunch of phone calls, got in touch with people who hopefully can help us, and perhaps this week a new message will come our way:

"Proceed."

If not, there won't be much point in our staying on this corner much longer.

Enjoy the link below:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4QRqWELIco

WHAT DOES A SLIME BAG LOOK LIKE?

This week has been sloooow.  It has been sooooo slooooow that we have been doing a great deal of second guessing.  Though Alina has received rave reviews from the casting director whom she took a 3 day intensive class with, and she has received plenty of support from agents and coaches there really must be nothing going on because not a call for an audition has come in.

So, in the hopes of finding some sort of opportunity as an extra, Alina signed up for LAcastingnetwork.com.  Casting Network is something her agent in Chicago uses as a resource, but when in LA, one must sign up for their LA network because, well, this is LA.

I should have known something was different about the LA version when Alina's agent here had never heard of it.  Given that I receive daily notifications about cool stuff happening on the east coast, and sometimes cool stuff happening in Chicago, I couldn't imagine that we wouldn't also receive notifications about cool stuff happening here too.

Well. Folks.  Rather than describe what I am receiving in my email, I thought I'd just share a rough sampling of the kinds of opportunities that LA Casting Network has sent me today.  I must repeat that this DID NOT come from Alina's agent.  NO IT DID NOT!

Here goes.  Here's a mild one:

RUSH CALL! LET'S BE COPS is looking for a SMOKIN' HOT GIRL to work tonight, THURSDAY - JULY 25 in HOLLYWOOD. Call time is 8:00 PM. UNION or NON UNION welcome.


And here's another:

Role Role Type Gender/Age/Ethnicities Description/Note Prostitute #1 Background Female / 18 to 25 / All Ethnicities Girl number 1 : She is a prostitute trying to impress her next potential client. Prostitute #2 Background Female / 18 to 21 / All Ethnicities Girl number 1 : She is a prostitute trying to impress her next potential client. She is using sexual gestures and to impress a man that she wants to have sex with while wearing lingerie Prostitute #3 Background Female / 18 to 25 / All Ethnicities She is using sexual gestures and to impress a man that she wants to have sex with while wearing lingerie

And:

Female talent

Principal

Female / 18 to 25 / All Ethnicities

You are the fem fatale. Sexy, seductive, with a nice body for a swimming scene. This role requires two scenes which might require to two days of shooting. You flirt with a man until his guard is down, and then rob him at gunpoint. After he gives you his money you escape with the musician—your real lover. The other scene has this role slipping out of her dress, leaving on just her bra and underwear as she makes a dive into the pool. She gets out of the pool and goes over to hug the musician who's looking into the bag. *PLEASE READ CAREFULLY AND ONLY SUBMIT IF YOU ARE COMFORTABLE WITH THE CONTENT*

This last one I find interesting because whoever posted it is clearly frustrated that he is not getting submissions from women who are beautiful enough for his liking:

submit share	GORGEOUS RED HEAD OR BLONDE / Non-Union / Principal / Female / Caucasian / 15-30 Funny, bombshell red-head OR blonde for best friend. ONLY SUBMIT REDHEADS OR BLONDES PLEASE. Think Kate Upton, Charlize Theron, Britney Spears w red or blonde hair. MUST BE EXQUISITE. Please don't waste my time - thin, petite, small noses, beautiful smiles. BEAUTIFUL, STUNNING. Rate: $300/day
Role Added 7/25/2013 4:09 PM

submit share

STUNNING BRUNETTE INGENUE / Non-Union / Principal / Female / Caucasian / 17-25 This is a young woman with courage, brains and wits, but she has a lovable, vulnerable, innocent side to her. She can, however, make men crazy. For the look, think young Angelina Jolie, Kristen Stewart, Demi Lovato, Mila Kunis, young Elizabeth Taylor. She must be breathtakingly beautiful. Brunette, blue eyes, fair skin preferable. Petite-medium build. *UPDATE-I have received 500+ submissions for this. Please be realistic. BRUNETTE ONLY, will not consider other hair colors. Will consider other eye colors. Be BEAUTIFUL, small nose, bright eyes, beautiful straight white smile. Caucasian. STUNNING. I am looking for a face that could be on a Guess ad, so please be realistic.* Rate: $300/day

So be careful if you think you might possibly be Guess ad material, because if this guy doesn't agree, you have wasted his time and ticked him off too.

I'll tell you, I've never been more happy about Disney and Nickelodeon auditions.  Roll them on in!  That stuff is NOT what we came here for, and hopefully in her future, she will have some better opportunities than what I see above.

So tomorrow, I'm going to see if we can go volunteer at a soup kitchen.  Let's keep it real people.

One In A Million

Today is Monday and we have been here for a week already.  Alina finishes a 3-day intensive class today.  Our hope that one of her auditions from last week will have resulted in a phone call today is probably unrealistic but hopeful is the word that pops into my mind constantly.

We are HOPEFUL that this trip will be of value in some way or another.

We are HOPEFUL that she will receive more auditions this week.

We are HOPEFUL that she will receive callbacks.

We are HOPEFUL that she will actually land something.

Yes, HOPEFUL is the word that most commonly crosses my lips and my typing fingers.

As I think about all of our hopefulness, I am sitting in a cafe in the very hip and cool neighborhood of Los Feliz in a fun little place called The Mustard Seed Cafe.  I have been here for 2 hours now and while employing my eavesdropping super powers, I have so far been sitting next to a man who was hoping to hear from a record producer, a young woman who was hopeful that a web series she has written will be picked up, and an actor who was hopeful that his last audition was better than he thought it was.

If I think about the fact that I could only hear one conversation at a time, and that there were many other conversations going on simultaneously, and that this is only one tiny cafe in a city full of cafes and restaurants, and that this is a huge city, I am concluding that there is a whole lot of hope going on.

Maybe I should view that as a good thing.  Hope is, after all, a positive kind of feeling.

So even though our hope is like a drop amongst the millions of drops that sprinkle this city, I will continue to feel that there are possibilities for Alina that will come about because of our visit here.

At least, I hope so.

Define "Success"

It will come as no surprise to anyone from Los Angeles that the traffic is ridiculous.  It is 4:00 and I've been in the car since 10:30am, going to 2 destinations that are only 14 miles away, yet it took the entire day to achieve.

A quick stop at Target today to buy a bathing suit revealed what dressing rooms always seem to reveal when one is trying on a bathing suit: nothing you really want to have to acknowledge.

I thought that while I was here I'd be getting fit while enjoying lots of sunshine and exercise, but so far I have been sitting behind the steering wheel for 5 days straight.  Fit is NOT the thing I am getting.

Tomorrow Alina has another 4 hour-long class, but it takes an hour to get there even though it is roughly only 18 miles away.  It hardly seems worth driving an hour home to get a little workout in and then turning back around to get her.  Also, the place she is going to for these classes is behind a Gelato shop.  So, what am I supposed to do?  NOT have Gelato?  C'mon.

There must be a Pilates class near there somewhere.  There certainly are an abundance of organic juice shops.

Anyway, two successful auditions were accomplished today.  "Successful" being a term that means, she went to an audition, she did the audition, they liked what she did, they gave out compliments and then she left.  Success!

We'll take success where we can find it and today was an excellent start.  Finding a flattering bathing suit on the other hand...

Success is a relative term.

Roadblocked!

We learned something disheartening.  Most studios are looking for people over the age of 18 to play younger.  Very few studios will take on people under the age of 18 to play teens because there is an extra expense involved with tutoring and there are limits on the number of hours a person under 18 can spend working.  

Apparently, they want to work you as much as possible.

Other than Disney or Nickelodeon, which routinely hire teens to play teens, one must be 18 or what they refer to as "Legal 18."  Being "Legal 18" means that you must  take the California high school equivalency test and pass it in order to work the same hours as an adult.

How is it though that other kids we know are working in the biz while still in high school?

We were told by a friend in "The Biz" that being here in July was a strange choice.  Apparently, not much is happening in the world of auditioning at the moment.  Hoping that this wasn't entirely the case, we stopped by the Agent's office to say hey.

  

We met everyone in the office only once back in March so I felt certain that they wouldn't really remember much about Alina. With all of the kids that must be stopping by to say hello, and with all of the faces that must cross their desks daily, it seemed likely to me that they would need a reminder of who Alina is or at least what she looks like.  

I was completely wrong.  Not only did they know all about her, but they remembered details about her resume that I would not have expected them to recall.  We have heard stories of agents who are not such nice characters, however we somehow lucked into a group of fun, supportive and warm people.  They explained to me that unlike huge agencies with thousands of actors in their stable, this group prides itself on knowing their actors personally.  

I don't think I could ask for much more than that!  Well actually, a few auditions would be good.

Nevertheless, her first audition came in today for tomorrow.  They requested that we not say a word about who or what it is for, so I won't.  

Maybe things are starting to move.  To fill the gaps in time, Alina has signed up for an intensive auditioning class.  She's there now.  I'm sitting by a fountain with 4 hours to kill.  At least it is sunny and warm!

Stage Mom? And Your Point Is?

First night in Los Angeles.  A little sunset ocean time near the Santa Monica Pier

I learned that I have been accused of being a stage mom.  The accusation came from someone I know well and also included a hefty dose of scorn. At first I was hurt, but then I got to thinking.  Are there stage dads?  If so, must they also fend off other people's derogatory feelings?

My daughter wants to be an actress so if I am able, why would I not help her to do that?

A friend who has a successful actor-daughter reminded me recently, "Remember, she's YOUR kid!  YOU have to advocate for her and do what is best for her.  You can't expect that anyone else will."  Seems like sound advice.

Besides, when I stood outside for hours assisting my kids with lemonade stands to benefit The Girl Effect (www.thegirleffect.org) or when I helped my older daughter raise money for Smile Train (www.smiletrain.org), did anyone accuse me of being a "Charity Mom?"  And when my kids have shown interest in art and I have put them in art classes, does that make me an "Art Mom?"  I volunteer at a local summer camp.  So, I'm "Summer Camp Mom?"  I'm helping my older daughter get ready for college.  Watch out, here comes "College Mom!"

Since when is encouraging and supporting your children something to be ashamed of?  Since I became a mom? So it's a female thing?

Please. Call me Stage Mom.  It really doesn't offend.  Personally, I'd call myself "Good Mom."

Snap.

Home Away

I had been looking for a place for my daughter and I to stay while in LA.  It is sooo expensive!

I also learned through my searching that, surprise! There are gazillions of mothers, daughters and sons converging on LA with the same hopes and dreams.  Just because my daughter was invited to come out here doesn't mean she has a leg up on anyone else.

Her Chicago agent warned me to stay away from the hotels designed to house families like mine.

"You don't want to have to hang out by the pool and listen to all the mothers bragging about the auditions their kid have gone on and who they met and what they have done.  It's obnoxious," he said.

I'm not a particularly competitive person.  I'm really not up for the "my kid did this, my kid did that" conversations.  For another thing, I'm not even feeling particularly bathing-suit ready to lounge by a pool with a bunch of people who might be eyeballing me as competition.

I decided to take the agent's advice and steer clear of the whole mom scene.  This way, my daughter and I can exist in our own little bubble without too many outside influencers making us feel...inadequate.  Anxious.  Yuck.

I lucked out about 2 weeks into my search for a place to stay.  Sitting next to a pretty yoga instructor at a party, I soon discovered that she had a little cottage in the Brentwood neighborhood that she rents out occasionally.

Even more interesting, her grandmother was the movie star, Irene Dunne.  Apparently her little cottage was furnished with all kinds of interesting items from her grandmother's life.  Well what could be better mojo than sitting on Irene Dunne's sofa while hoping to get a few auditions in Hollywood?

We arrived yesterday and have found ourselves in a little comfy gem of a place, complete with swimming pool and movie stars...well, we haven't seen any movie stars yet, but knock-on-sofa, we'll see our share.

Today we go visit my daughter's agent.  Hopefully after that she'll get some auditions going.

Why I Agreed To This

A few years ago I had the luxury of re-evaluating myself and my life. In some ways I would say I am lucky that I had the opportunity to do such a thing because as we all propel ourselves through our lives, we don't always take the time to stop and think, observe, evaluate.  In my case, my new self-awareness was foisted on me through a breast cancer diagnosis.

In my year of living cancerously, I spent a lot of time in bed.  Often I felt sorry for myself.  Many times I contemplated and accepted my own fragility and the fine line we all walk daily between this life and whatever comes next.  Hopefully there is something next, but just in case, I emerged from that time with a clear understanding that living my life as fully as I can is what I must do to feel comfortable again about living.  Otherwise, the focus is on dying and I just can't go there.

So, I coined a phrase and this is my mantra:

Do not not do. (Trademarked it too! T-shirts coming next!)

In this spirit, when the opportunity came up for my daughter to fly to LA to be sent on auditions, I could only apply my mantra to her life as well.

Do not not do.

And off we flew, yesterday, for 4 weeks of unbridled hopefulness, anticipation and the spirit of adventure.