Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Stage Mom? And Your Point Is?



First night in Los Angeles.  A little sunset ocean time near the Santa Monica Pier

I learned that I have been accused of being a stage mom.  The accusation came from someone I know well and also included a hefty dose of scorn. At first I was hurt, but then I got to thinking.  Are there stage dads?  If so, must they also fend off other people's derogatory feelings?

My daughter wants to be an actress so if I am able, why would I not help her to do that?

A friend who has a successful actor-daughter reminded me recently, "Remember, she's YOUR kid!  YOU have to advocate for her and do what is best for her.  You can't expect that anyone else will."  Seems like sound advice.

Besides, when I stood outside for hours assisting my kids with lemonade stands to benefit The Girl Effect (www.thegirleffect.org) or when I helped my older daughter raise money for Smile Train (www.smiletrain.org), did anyone accuse me of being a "Charity Mom?"  And when my kids have shown interest in art and I have put them in art classes, does that make me an "Art Mom?"  I volunteer at a local summer camp.  So, I'm "Summer Camp Mom?"  I'm helping my older daughter get ready for college.  Watch out, here comes "College Mom!"

Since when is encouraging and supporting your children something to be ashamed of?  Since I became a mom? So it's a female thing?

Please. Call me Stage Mom.  It really doesn't offend.  Personally, I'd call myself "Good Mom."

Snap.


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8 comments:

  1. Albert KaufmanJuly 17, 2013 at 5:22 PM

    very good mom!

    ReplyDelete
  2. UnknownJuly 17, 2013 at 6:19 PM

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stage_mother
    In the performing arts, a stage mother is a term for the mother of a child actor. The mother will often drive her child to auditions, make sure he or she is on the set on time, etc. The term sometimes has a negative connotation, suggesting that the individual is prone to obnoxiously demanding special treatment for her child, or suggesting that the individual has placed inappropriate pressure on her child to succeed. Some believe that a "stage mom" is vicariously living out her own dreams through her child.
    I can't imagine you being pushy and obnoxious. You are sweet and supportive. That person must not know you very well.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. UnknownJuly 17, 2013 at 6:32 PM

      Thanks Helen. This person thinks she knows me, but I think you are correct. She doesn't know me well enough. Thanks for your definition and kind words. I wish we had a set to get to on time! I definitely drive to umpteen auditions. Alina is currently making ME dinner, so I may be making special demands on HER to do that every night because I like the special treatment she is giving ME! I do admit that I once had acting dreams, but I also wanted my kids to dance like I did and that has never panned out. So, I must not be pushy enough. I'm just hopeful. Call me "Hopeful Mom!"

      Delete
    2. UnknownJuly 19, 2013 at 5:22 PM

      I think that it is great that you are supportive of your daughter's aspirations and are helping to make them a reality.

      Delete
  3. aileen caseyJuly 18, 2013 at 11:36 AM

    I'm impatient mom, wine drinking mom, yoga mom, pain-in-the-butt mom, loud mom, gymnastics mom and the list goes on, and on, and on. You are an AWESOME mom to help your kid live her dream. I will do the same for my crazy kid!! Not to get too "deep" but I think your daughter needs a good advocate, someone to keep her feet on the ground and centered, what a better person than her mom. It's got to be hard for someone her age to be judged and compared to others when it comes to looks/talent/age all of the external stuff. Being there will help keep her as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside. Just sayin . . . .

    ReplyDelete
  4. UnknownJuly 18, 2013 at 3:50 PM

    Oh Aileen, you are just FABULOUS and you can add "Mom" to that or not. Because just in general, you are. xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  5. UnknownJuly 18, 2013 at 6:26 PM

    Where's the "like" button for Aileen's comment. LOVE IT. Carry on Sue! who cares about adjectives...you're a M.O.M. in all the glory of it.

    ReplyDelete

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